So, A Batista Walks Into A Bar
by Beyond The Mat
Summary: Dave Batista might be an "STD With Legs", but here's the story of when a certain someone tried to pick him up in a bar, and failed epically. Dave/Courtney Orton. One shot.


_Courtney Orton is the daughter of Barry O, former WWF wrestler and recovering alcohol and crystal meth addict. Courtney has demons of her own, and is mentioned in another story of ours. This story would be a predecessor of that, as this was when Courtney tried to pick up Dave Batista in a bar. Dave had been having problems with his girlfriend, Eve El. Maria Kanellis had also hit on him in front of Eve, and Dave had led Maria to believe he'd take her out for a drink. He certainly did not, because he never liked her to begin with. But our story takes place in a small nightclub._

Courtney walked into the club wearing a short black dress and a pair of peep toe heels then made it over to the bar. She ordered a beer then sat on a stool. Doing what she usually did once she entered a club she scanned the area for a hot guy she would want to have a one night stand with. Her eyes then shifted to the man that sat on the stool next to her and immediately recognized him since he worked with her cousin.

"Well if it isn't Dave Batista." Courtney said.

She knew her cousin Randy and Dave didn't get along so she decided why not get to know Dave while he was in her presence.

"I'm Courtney, I was a fan of yours when you were in the WWE." Courtney said.

Eve had been spending lots of time with others, not coming home, but being better about texting. He'd aborted the date he'd set up spitefully with Maria, because the truth was that he really did care about Eve.

A lot.

Maria was the type to flaunt on an arm to earn jealousy or anger, and Dave wasn't doing that now. He was just at the club because he'd had nothing better to do tonight. He didn't want to sit home alone..again..and going to a movie by oneself was just not what Dave wanted.

A drink wouldn't hurt, he told himself, limiting himself to one.

So he'd appeared, and now a young blonde was making an introduction. He was still obviously culturally relevant if someone as young as she - old enough to drink, unless her ID was fake, but young enough to be considered young - knew who he was.

It was an ego stroke to be recognized in a venue such as this by one he could not possibly know had contact within the business.

"So, when I left WWE, you stopped liking me?" he asked, teasingly. He was wearing his smoked glasses and glanced over them. "Hello, Courtney."

"Yeah, now you're just boring to me." Courtney joked.

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Kidding. I'm still a fan and can't wait to see what you decide to do next." Courtney said.

Her beer was placed in front of her a second later and Courtney took the bottle before taking a sip of it.

He chuckled, eyed the bartender and did the 'another round' gesture with his index finger, indicating his drink and Courtney's.

He watched her drink straight from the bottle. That wasn't very ladylike and there was certainly something to how she wrapped her lips around the bottle that made her look a bit...expert.

He realized he'd been silent and hadn't answered her. He was too busy watching. He wondered if she'd had her lips augmented, because if she hadn't, then she was born with lips so perfect and full, that they look as if they should be wrapped around a dick right now.

He cleared his throat and completely forgot what she'd said, so shifted his attention to a different topic. "So, do you live locally or are you on vacation?"

Courtney put her drink down on the bar then lifted her right leg up and crossed it over her left leg. She leaned against the bar then smiled.

"I have an apartment here in Tampa and one in Jacksonville but I born and raised in Missouri." Courtney said.

He nodded. Two apartments? She must travel between them on business or something. Florida was a big state, with Tampa and Jacksonville somewhere within the range of 170-180 miles each way between them. Dave had a place in Miami, as well as Tampa, and had considered selling Tampa recently. There was a 275 mile gap, each way, between those distances. He'd held onto Tampa for Eve, really. Even though Eve, too, had a home in Miami, most of her friends and colleagues were Tampa-area based.

"Missouri's about 1400 miles from here," he said. Dave was good with distances due to having covered them constantly the last eight years. "Do you model, or something?" he asked, wondering what besides the weather might have lured the girl to Florida. When he thought of Missouri, he thought of famous people born there like Yogi Berra, Jesse James, Harry S Truman, Eminem and Redd Foxx. Anyone in the business..and the business itself..was very far from his mind right now.

"A little but that's not why I moved. I like to travel and be free to do what I want. My family doesn't like that I like to party a lot and have a bunch of one night stands." Courtney said with a roll of her eyes.

"It's my life though so I can do what I want. Whether my family especially my cousin likes it or not." Courtney said.

She was basically a rebel if what she said was being interpreted properly by him. A Devil-May-Care type of rebel...maybe a bit too much like Keilani.

She was pretty in a trashy sort of way. "Slutty-pretty" is how Orton would've classified her if they'd been out drinking together, Dave was sure, given how that term applied. Cute, 'girls-next-door' looking girls were called "cute-pretty." Beauties were "gorgeous-pretty," and the ones that looked like their morals were in serious question given their choices of clothing, or hair coloring, or how they sat (not legs crossed at ankles like the cute-pretties, nor knees together like a lady like the gorgeous-pretties, but splayed wide like a whore...that was "slutty-pretty".

He sipped his drink and looked her over again, wondering how many night her family walked the floors worrying of her. But then, she mentioned a cousin. Now, not to be racist or stereotypical, but this girl was from the South. Missouri. There were stories about Missourians, just as there were West Virginians and other places, where girls like this might come from trailer parks and her family might be related to each other in various ways. Terms like "Uncle Grandpa" and "Cousin Daddy" were not unheard of. So when a cousin was mentioned, for all he knew, it was her Daddy Brother, or something.

He paid the tab quietly and still wasn't near done with his drink. Again, she was pretty, but there was that refinement missing. If he wasn't Eve's boyfriend, he would've likely fucked this Courtney until the sun came up, and continued maybe until the sun went down, but this was not a girl he'd make a point of seeing again. He continued to be polite, though.

Courtney took another sip of beer then moved a little closer to Dave.

"Enough about me, tell me about you. Tell me something no one else would know about you, something that can't be found on google." Courtney said then gave a small smile.

"That I'm honestly 41 years old, and have had my attorneys contact the Internet Movie Database to change their error that claims I'm 3 years older than that." She could use Google to see the date discrepancy, but there's no evidence that he tried to have it changed. That was attorney/client privilege.

Courtney nodded.

"Well you don't really look 41. You look just as sexy as you did back when you were in Evolution. Hell you look sexier." Courtney said with a smirk.

He sipped his drink and had smiled. Yeah, Dave was a sucker for flattery like that. What man wouldn't be? But he had to say with a husky chuckle, "You should've been watching Sesame Street in my Evolution days, not WWE."

"I wasn't that little during your Evolution days. " Courtney said with a grin.

She finished her beer then ordered another one.

"Plus I have family in the wrestling business so I grew up being a wrestling fan." Courtney said.

He looked at her curiously. The Harley Race Wrestling Academy was Missouri-based so it wouldn't be unusual to have family in the business. "Do I know your family?" he asked. Legitimate question...Reid Flair was now living in MO and training at Harley's place. Which of course meant Ric must somehow have his greasy paw in it. So she could be a Flair. Both Ted and Mike DiBiase had passed through Harley's doors, so she could be one of them. She could even be a Hennig.

Courtney took a sip of her beer as she looked at Dave then nodded.

"Yeah you do but I'm not going to tell you my last name. That's something you're gonna have to guess." Courtney said with a smirk.

"And even if you did guess right I may not tell you that you were right because that just wouldn't be any fun." Courtney said.

He raised an eyebrow after he set his glass down and looked her over.

"Let me get this right," he said. "If I did guess right, you wouldn't tell me. So what's the sense of me guessing at all?" He glanced to the bartender for his tab. One thing Dave didn't care for was games like that. He knew now she wasn't a ring rat, but if there was family in the business, that he knew, he didn't like having the disadvantage of not holding any of the cards.

Courtney shrugged.

"I'm a complicated person but fine I'll be nice and tell you that you're right if you guess right. Would you like a hint?" Courtney asked.

"Sure," he said. He'd accept a hint for starters but right now, given bone structure in her face and what he believed to be dyed blonde hair, he was going to say she was a Flair.

ourtney took a large sip of her beer then started thinking.

"Hmm well I'm related to someone that used to be in Evolution." Courtney said.

"I knew it," he said, and picked up his drink to take a victory sip. "Ric Flair."

Courtney laughed as she shook her head.

"Nope, guess you didn't know it after all." Courtney said with a grin.

His eyes narrowed and he set his drink down. "You're not a McMahon, are you?" She looked nothing like Hunter but said "related". This could mean through marriage as well. She could be related by marriage to Hunter, and blood to the McMahons.

But the McMahons had no ties to Missou..oh..shit.

He waited for her to confirm or deny.

"That would be fun to be related to the McMahon's but nope not them. Though I would probably be tied to a chair by Vince if I was." Courtney said as she rolled her eyes.

"Bad for the company blah blah blah. Anyway no I'm not a McMahon and no I'm not some long lost cousin of yours. It would be weird if I was because I find you incredibly sexy." Courtney said.

He looked like he swallowed vile medicine when she confirmed she was an Orton. However, that's when his phone went off. It was Strikeforce, giving him extremely last-minute notice to get ready for a car and driver to get him and take him to the airport to go out to the West Coast for 2 days.

"I have to go," was all he said, throwing a $20 on the bartop to cover the round and tip. He shook his head and practically ran out of the place. Part of it was because he had no time to waste in getting home. And yes, the other part was running away from her. Her name was Courtney, but now he'd always think of her as "Courton."

He was lucky he didn't get a speeding ticket on his way home.

Courtney waved then smirked before she reached into her purse and grabbed her cell phone. She put some money on the bar to pay for the drinks then walked out of the club staring at her phone as she typed away on it.


End file.
